Driving in the car

• Quite annoyingly I fond myself becoming quite angry about old work situations while driving to some xmas music with Felix in the passenger seat.
• It wasn’t the music or Felix, but maybe I haven’t been driving for a while and it kicked in some past need to be in control.
• I though about conversations/meetings and how I might have handled them if I knew what was happening, how I would be more ruthless, insistent, direct, determined.
• I kept repeating some thoughts of “Why would I talk to you. You stabbed me in the back!”
• I wonder if I am convincing myself, or if I am reaffirming, or preparing.
• I know deep down, that the working environment was not my arena, I was only there for a while. I achieved what I wanted. It was no longer serving me. It annoys me that my exit wasn’t my decision, that people went behind my back, that it is another scare in my trust in human nature.
• I want to forget and move on, but it haunts me.
• Why?