Relational dynamics

• I address the issue I experienced with last month’s RD group straight away. This was all handled in good faith and I felt like both sides showed a mature level of responsibility towards their own participation in the conflict.
• We then listened to a number of people voice the issues they were experiencing in their current lives. Sometimes I brought my observations to the table that seemed appreciated and praised, other times where I could not bring something relevant I remained silent.
• When there was a large pause of silence, I made a suggestion that we swing the attention towards a more chatty and positive form with the question of what brought us to studying psychosynthesis. Not everyone answered and some were hesitant, but more or less I think the suggestion was accepted.
• I was asked what was happening for me and so I answered with absolute honesty thinking that people could handle and appreciate my observations:
  • I was noticing we were spending all of our time on the negative.
  • With the knowledge that becoming aware of the negative narratives where an important part of change, another important, and so far neglected, part is to focus on where we would like to be headed.
  • I noted my desire to explore more questions such as views of meaning and direction and how it related to the content of the course.
  • I noted I struggle with the pace of the group and am used to a more energetic and creative exchange.
  • I expressed my enjoyment in identifying the models on models as a way to relate to our experience and that I would love spending more time discussing how these models are for us with the experiences we have.
• We were asked to check in at the end of the day. One student expressed her strong offence to what I said which led to the student I had the issue last month agreeing with the statement that I was lacking in feeling and was cold. He used my ‘models on models’ expression to back up his argument.
  • I expressed that that was unfair and that I should be judged in that way and that history shows that reality has been described through both rationality and spirituality of which even today we have not arrived at a decision of certainty and possibly never will.
  • The first student started to hide, but also expressed that my statements muted her (using the term I used earlier with the first conflict)
  • I was told by the tutor that I was a thinker and saw reality through that viewpoint as though I was someone different to the centre of the group.
  • I explained that that statement was also unfair and that I have shown my vulnerable side, told through my heart with trust.
• We were asked to wrap up the session with one word.
  • I said “exhausted”
  • There was at least a 2 minute silence before anyone else spoke.
• I feel like:
  • The students are wallowing in their ego narratives
  • I want to talk on a higher disidentified layer and have some fun!