Counselling Skills

Skills training aspect of the year
- Use psychosynthesis
- Applicable in life, not just as a counsellor
- Core counselling skills
- Refining understanding of these skills
- Simple, but not simplistic
- Cultivate relationship between you and the client
Questions:
- What is the therapeutic relationship
- How can I cultivate it, make better
- Why do I want to do counselling
I - self relationship
- Transpersonal context
- Axis from I (centre) to the Self (shell of egg)
- Self - ground in experience in any relationship with something that is greater than you
- Connection of the Self can be felt through commune with other people
- In connection with the other, we develop a relationship with the Self
- Client-Therapist mirrors I-Self relationship
- Therapist could hold the greater potential to the I
- Therapist sees the potential in the client
Unifying sensor, channels the greater whole
- Job is to be a unify sensor
  - Aware of the client,
    - many different levels
    - What they say to begin
    - Nature, arts, fears, clubs
    - Through relationship, the person is seen as an expression
    - People, places, things
- Neg unifying sensors
  - Gun at head
  - Critical caregiver
  - Critical environment, economy, democracy
- Identify, learnt to limit negative
- Be very aware of the Client
All have tried to help people and exercised in how to deal with the process
- Look on the bright side
- How about trying….
- What happened to me….
- Snap out of it
- Detective, why
- None of these help
Instead
- Not offer advice
- Not ask questions
- Not figure out
- Not dismiss
Will feel strange, uncomfortable, embrace it
- Problem with perfectionism, wanting to be really good even though never done before
- Low bar!
Listening, Responding skills
Introductions: What experience, particular questions?
- Jigsaw metaphor - there is a fitting piece
- Snuggle with perfectionism,
  - though I needed to get closer to the date, instead need to listen to the unobvious
  - Frustrating, annoying
  - Learn to be myself in order to be beneficial
- Understand how psychosynthesis is different to other forms
  - Used to a blank canvas, ps is more interactive
- Build trust
- Goal - cultivate therapeutic relationship
  - Not predetermined outcome
  - Create the conditions to create healing
  - Trust this is how people change
    - Everyone is different

Exercise - just listening

Think of a film
- Client talk 3 mins about a film
- Counsellor
  - listen, nod, facial attending, mmm noises, no words
  - Attend to information, content
  - Notice the way that you talk about the film
    - Speed, pauses
    - Body gesture
    - Tone of voice
  - Notice yourself
    - How you are affected
    - Image of the film?
About the film, what you noticed about the client
- Defiance
- War time, question of trust,
What was it like to be listened
- Didn’t notice very much
- Focused on doing a good presentation
- Didn’t need much from the listener
What was it like to listening
- Remembered really little
- Engaged in her enthusiasm
- Focused on myself
- Had wandering thoughts
- Anxiety that I had lost the thread
- Embarrassed by my lack of ability to relay the content
Need to share that you are listening

Exercise - just noticing

Client doesn’t say anything
Now I am aware - to do with partner
Now I am aware - to do with periphery / external
Now I am aware - to do with partner
Now I am aware - to do with internal experiences - feelings, thoughts, sensations
- here , especially in online work, it is important to check in with the whole of your body
Why would you not say everything
- By being transparent - client might see as a distraction, leading to holding back, annoyance, etc
- If you feel angry, frustrated - use it as an indication that the client might feel this way
On the lookout for more than what’s said, the bigger holistic story
Only recognised the limited bandwidth
Allows the client to grow into ways of being / perceptions, leading them to less neurotic, more happy etc

Responding skills

Provide conditions that allow the client to unfold
Process (wants to unfold) agenda
- Done through responding skills
- Distinguish from a content agenda
- Provide the conditions that allow the emerging conditions to unfold
Responding skills
- Reflections (mirroring)
  - Say little
  - Match tone / energy
  - Way to demonstrate you are there / present
  - Not getting in the way, changing the content
  - Often leads the client to saying more/deeper,
    - chosen highlight and path
- Paraphrasing
  - Say bit more
  - Re-phrasing the core narrative
  - Takes the essence, repackage in own words (include their words)
  - 1,2,3, sentences, more than reflection, but still succinct
  - Tentative, may be misunderstood
- Summarising
  - Say quite a bit
  - Longer, could be whole session
  - Weave the various strands together, recount the journey taken
  - So we started with look at… which leads to ….

Reflection exercise

Client: make small sentences and leave pauses
Counsellor: reflect pack, choose keywords, mirror tone/energy
Observer: feedback
3mins, debrief 5mins
Remember the focus is on the counselling trying out the skills to the client
Was a bit clumsy
there was a balance of involvement to be successful
Channel towards experience

Paraphrasing the exercise: the Why

Demonstrate presence / understanding
Allows client to pause and listen
Focus directs the session (towards client experience)
Leads to clarification and further description / deepening
Time when you had to make a difficult decision
Reflect + paraphrase (at least twice) careful not to change meaning, describe/mirror what they said succinctly
So if I go this right…..

Summarising

Presence / understanding
Client to pause / listen
Can direct and shape the session
Clarification
Useful at end of session as a round-up

Counselling skills 3&4

Home in on the clients inner-world
- Instead of reflecting back the details
- Help them see the patterns of how they are being impacted by the relationships with the world
Today
- Core values - who you are and not what you do
- Empathy
- Acceptance

Acceptance

Unconditional positive regard
Problems
- Teaching at home
- Not having enough time
- Finding a belief
Possible answers
- So how does that make you feel?

Empathy

The heart of counselling
Much mis-understood
Is not
- A feeling (for someone, sympathy)
Is
- An action
- What it is like to be them
- When it lands
- Be in their shoes
- Communicate understanding
How is it different to re-assurance?
- Not trying to add - take away
- Tone - match client
Fine to get it wrong!
Not feeling the client’s felling, but aware of it
Client 1
- Concern
- Disbelief
  - Was doing all she can to abide by the rules
- Exhausted
- Jealousy
Client 2
- Loss /Helplessness
- Recognition, Inspiration
- Tied / Punishment
Me
- Desperate, searching
- Tired, need for recovery
- Strategic
- Need of solitude, hopeful, Proud
Available to tune in to the unconscious
6mins
- As client, don’t talk too much
- As counsellor reflections, empathy, direct
1 min summary of session
As observer - Turn camera off, take notes
Feedback in on the counsellor and how they did at counselling
Summarise what taken from the feedback

IMPORTANT

Don’t ask questions of you client
Express acceptance and empathy using:
- Reflecting
- Paraphrasing
- Summarizing

Client 1 - me as client

Felt like I was playing the game a bit,
- I would normally need more energy and input
I felt listened to
- Sometimes she seemed a bit lazy
She picked up on the obvious,
- Maybe not seeing some of the subconscious, not sure what there might have been
Ade -
- sometimes out of body
- Felt the game - lost interest, needed space
Trust
Sit alongside the client, not to try and fix them
focus reflecting the orange, not the blue narrative

Client 2

Missed - shame, feel free
Great eye movement
“His frustration” sat with the client well - empathetic to the troubled feeling
Bit too quiet and smiley
Therapists mic didn’t do her justice
Note of justified, contained
- Was this colluding?
Polite
Missed the hands signal
Gap felt looking for orientation, felt unsupported, could have asked stuck?

Client 3

Good use of frowning / smiling, felt fluid
Reflection few and far between, but when used made an impact
Pull back from interruption was good - didn’t ruin the flow
Summaries x 2,
- had a bit of judgment and a question
- Was this good?
Pause to the conversation could have had some previous reflections
Positive regard at beginning.
She said many things more than once that could have been picked up on
Client felt tentative/present no performance, authentic
Felt the question help summarise
Therapist:
- felt natural,
- struggled telling if assistance was needed
- Missed some big opportunities, looked at the data to closely
- Felt the unclarity pulled in to being confused too

Client 4 me as therapist

My thoughts:
- Tried to feel with the client,
- Made some clumsy interruptions, some were experimentations…
- Felt like I brought back some important parts into view
- Wonder if this is my vacation
Use of risk, brought into the orange person back from the data
Auditory acknowledgement worked
Summary at end worked
Some disconnect from some phrases.
Distracted by facial expressions, kind face, maybe unnatural/unmatching - distracting
Timing sometimes missing
Client felt:
- Steam rolled therapist without giving space
- Not so aware of the therapist
- Risk, angry, hanging reflections worked and is in focus!
- Being felt - familiar
Lost confidence
- Pulled back from data
Face opened
Jumped back into my head
Cognitive picked up, show listened, but was clunky missed timed
I admitted to feeling like a fraud and not caring at all time, maybe not my vocation
- Why do I wish to jump over the data and get straight to the point - efficiency
Was told that for true transcendence the client needs to discover the aspects for themselves - participatory knowledge
- Analogy providing survival tech to africa need to come from them for it to be sustainable
Instead,
- focus on being a mirror
- Agapic love - To give - Set the scene for their own transcendence.
Conclusion - The future is unwritten and can be unseeable. I am here an willing to make the most of this opportunity

Counselling skills 5&6

Book recommendation

I and self John Firman We’ve Had a Hundred Years of Psychotherapy–And the World’s Getting Worse - James Hillman

Reflections

Small steps
You need to be free to be playful

Unconditional positive regard

A concept developed by the humanistic psychologist Carl Rogers, is the basic acceptance and support of a person regardless of what the person says or does, especially in the context of client-centred therapy

Congruence

Discovered by carl rogers in the 60’s
Expression will - given how anxious you are, the ability to function respond or freeze
Trapped in a self-deceptive narrative and unable to see other perspectives
Is-identification is an important process
- Can lead to manipulation
- Self-reflection
Hard to pull myself out of judgement
- Unable to help them, self-doubt
- Would have a disconnect, lack of trust, boundary
- Identified:
  - Values based
  - Confidence
  - care
- What does that tell me about myself?
Frame
The client sniffs inauthenticity and no longer brings trust
Fake and inadequate
- Not- take personally who should give up
- Helpful - notice, notice, notice,
  - interesting, wonder if client feels the same?
We are Porous beings
- It could be to do with them, turn it around
- Trust - there is more going on too
Danger of disclosing - If you tell the client
- They will learn not to tell you stuff
- Put up boundaries
Choose carefully!
Be aware of your response
- Accept who you are
- Will make you a safe presence
Juggling act of 50% of awareness on client 50% on yourself
- Is it relevant?
- Can you use it to advance your empathy?
Even though you are the echo chamber, you are also preset
Do I do other people’s thinking?
The quality of the I
- How you attend to the resistance
- How you notice
Isness

Counsellor - session

Looked a little blank / poised at times
Silent without harmonising
- Involved in the data
- Maybe lost in in herself
Long summary seemed to take over the flow
- Framing
- Client had to work to understand therapists narrative
Little unsure how to bring congruence into this
Other observer expressed that the first summary was quite congruent
Client thought so too, contextualised
- Helped in highlighting an underlying mood / desire
Client:
- didn’t start with blue sky,
- working on instinct,
- awareness of one word reflections,
- Felt quite clumsy with summary
- Noticed fiddling
Trainer:
- Client needs to be heard - therapist listened
- Thought the summary was brilliant
  - Picked out 3 important things!
- Therapist laughed, interesting reaction - curious
- When in the presence of client that is moved (aware and blind)
  - Honoured aware of
Personal reflection:
- I missed loads!
- Didn’t hear the content
- Didn’t listen to the summary without giving it a chance
- Made an assumption on the therapist and client that was not true!
- What does this say?
  - I wasn’t focussing, why
    - Bit tired
    - Had an opinion she was in her own head and therefore wouldn’t produce something of value
    - Was outside of what we had been doing
  - Why would I think this?
    - Confidence in the therapist
    - Superiority
    - Impatience

Creating focus (in the discussion)

Reflections, paraphrases - focus experience
Summaries
- Longer session
- Where have you been?
Avoid directive, giving advice
- Don’t add or change
Interventionist, not following but leading where you would like to go
Co-create session
- Not just follow
- You make a difference
Have an agenda
- Not wanted - Outcome focused agenda
  - Feeling
  - insight
  - Not feeling something
  - Recognise you have an agenda
  - Recognise you don’t know how that will work out
    - Rushed, bypassed what they needed to do
    - Symptoms are meaningful
    - Uncover purpose - we don’t know what that is
- Wanted - Process agenda
  - Create conditions that allow process to happen
  - Empathy, congruence
  - Allow risk with you
1
Past present future
- You have been, you are still, you want to be…
- Which of these would you like to focus on now?
2
It seems to me that what is salient is …
Tentative -
- wrong is ok
- Building into summary is empathic
3

Exercise

Peter arrives and is evidently very distressed. His wife has said she doesn’t what to live with him any longer, this seemed to him to come “out of the blue”. The next day she left and is staying with her brother in another county. He cries brokenheartedly while saying this. The couple have 3 children aged between 14 and 24 years old, with whom they are regularly in touch. One is at boarding school, one at university and one who is working. They will be at home at the weekend and he cannot imagine what he is going to tell them.
His mother had died a year and a half ago after a long illness. Then his father also died only 11 months later, he tells you that he was very close indeed to his father, saw him every day, and thought of him as his best friend. Peter cries openly as he talks about his parents, and it is evident that he is obviously still grieving for them.
He is 43, and been out of a job for 4 years. Although he is managing financially, his self-worth has taken a big dive over these years of trying to get an executive job. Six weeks ago he was headhunted for a big job in Milan, and has been putting all his energy into the business plan he was required to present for the job. He has been very excited and challenged by this, and as he tells you about it you realize it would mean a lot to him to get the job.
Some in the past, some present, some future
Above is an example of an initial dump in a session
Come up with choice, outstanding, contrast points
Choice
- … Which one of these would you like ot focus on
Outstanding
- … it seems to me that what you say to your kids might be the most pressing? Let me know if I am wrong.
Contrast
- … would you like to explore what your job might look like?

Client session

Great body awareness
- Well received
Injected opinion
- Maybe I am seeing this…
- Seemed to me having an imprint
Head nodding reflection
- Needed affirmation welcomed and appreciated
Summarising Outstanding/contracting point
Experiential reference point
- 1st person observer - not 3rd person observer
Client:
- Using body - helped her relax
- Didn’t notice the outstanding/contrasting point
Therapist:
- Felt the most present have been
- Trusted! Tried!
- Felt useful, out of own way
- Lost presence at times
- Using the contrasting point put n a frame, clunky
Trainer:
- falling point, not doing anything was accepting
- Subtle expressions where heartfelt
- Courage
- Possible meeting in discomfort
- Lots of “Umms” - maybe not needing to feel the gap

Me as councillor

I was trying to let go, be present in the moment
Trying to feel in a way that Ade would open up to
- Noticed she did look at me more further down the line, so maybe that worked
- Picked up on repeated words
- Tried contrasting points
Observer 1:
- “Oh” worked well
- Early contrast point worked
- Pleased repeated word
- Tentative
- Open and responding
- Connected with body and got eye contact, hear herself talk
Observer 2:
- Sound of recognition opened trust
- Felt waiting for the uncomfortable
  - When did - did it reflect discomfort in me as therapist
- Felt like I was searching for something to say
Client:
- Liked the the past choice, however timing was a little bad
- Safe
- Times of not congruent, but liked
Trainer

Me as a client

She pulled out some underlying emotions
Gave me a lot of recognition
Good use of choice point
Pulled back the conversation when it felt conclusive

Counselling skills 7&8

Avoid therapy turning into interrogations
Change clients misunderstood territory
If built on trust and empathy, how do you ….
Tangent, cross roads, invasive, more for the counsellor.
Like to ban “Why”
Takes into a rational explain direction
If you know the answer, you might not be in therapy.
Moves away from experiential, into abstract theory
Asking question using these as a starting point
Danger is asking too many questions turning into an overwhelming interrogation
Avoid
- Ask questions -> BE INTERESTED IN THE ANSWER!
- Empathise / reflect -> Before asking a new question
- What is the purpose?

Gilmore group

As observation

I sensed a strong sense of patience and interest
I noticed a use of “How” - twice (just an observation)
Strong concentration moment - appeared to me like struggling to listen
Some missed opportunities for reflective words to accent the moment
Long pause
Summary put words in her mouth
Nice summary at the end that brought with it a sense of confidence
Intuitively responded being with the client

Client

enjoyed the space
Counsellor
- Felt the need to be with the client
- Felt the silences quite uncomfortable
Trainer
- Experienced distressed that afforded the client to be with hers
- Not knowing winging - flew
- Do be with distress is profoundly soothing

As client

I felt like I waffled too long and so noticed the counsellor responding to that and allowing the flow
I loved the bringing back to the body question
I didn’t feel like the summary at the end was convincing, but was a good attempt due to the content being scattered
Observers
- Curiosity
- Body away from fact descriptions
- Felt like given more time

Challenge skills

Nuance form of empathy
Empathise - Not just how the client is identified
Beyond the identity
- Client pleased
- Can lead to threat
Example pleaser
- Empathise with pleaser
- Outside of that includes pleasing, but also…. (control, embarrassed)
Bread and butter of therapy - Help people acknowledge and accept being angry
- Remind that they might be angry
Hardest thing
- Talk about
- Without shaming
- Without increasing their defensiveness
Timing
- Are they ready
- Do they trust you enough yet?
- Best live, not as a reflection, present
Connect -> then challenge
- Tickle under the chin -> then slap them around the head
You’d really like to give your boss an earful.
You sound angry with the whole of management at the moment.
You’re really fed up with putting in all this effort when others couldn’t care less.
You sound very frustrated.
It’s really upsetting for you that other people don’t seem to give a toss.
You’re not getting any recognitions for all the work you’re putting in.
Bi-focal vision
- Identity
- Emerging process

In may

Peer feedback - receive feedback from each person in your group
Fill in and bring along Counselling skills self-assessment form

Gilmore group 2

As am observation

Reflective word felt natural
Occasion when cut in mid sentence
Questions where clear and accepted well
Seem serious
- Nice empathic smile
“Of course” - assumptive
Summary seemed to have judgments, then nearly get there, then seemed to tail into confusion, client seemed polite.
Joan is
- very perceptive at seeing what is happening behind the curtain
- Articulate
- Feeling aware
- Long listener
Connie
- very perceptive at seeing what is happening behind the curtain
- Professional
Ade
- Holds the space really well
- Gets involved
As observer
- Low light
- Appeared focused
- Space needed - very good listener
- Maybe missed some accents, but might not have been appropriate
- Question wasn’t delivered as a question and was ignored,
- Summary had two elements of which only one was taken
- Summary seemed closed and interpretive
Therapist
- Concentrated on the relationship
- Battle between instinct and head
- How to get questions in clearer
Trainer
- Great example of sitting with client
- Ease in yourself
- Example of tickle before present their edge

As counsellor

Wrapped up very poorly
Gave too many opinions
Felt like I was listening ok, but didn’t quite touch the essence
Tried to swing it to feeling but was unsuccessful
Felt the client relaxed a bit displayed by the laugh at the end
Picked the low hanging fruit, missed what was underneath
Others perception
- Active roles seemed as a guide through confusion
- Good facial expression, warm, light presence, client see the humour
- Liked the four word summary - other felt overwhelmed / abandoned
- Pulled out the lack of solution
- Sometimes glitchy
- Highlighted threads
- Like “is there a right solution”
- Quite a lot of open questions
- Liked exploring the future - crystal ball
Client
- Felt organised
- Natural discussion
- Enjoyed the challenge of if there is a right answer
- Felt guided out of stuckness
Trainer
- Really liked “Do you feel like that now?”
- Reflections, paraphrase,
- Maybe brusk
- Hows, open question, ticked all the boxes

Counselling skills 9&10

Interpersonal
Gilmore
Assessment session
- - Empathy is key
  - Reading between the lines, and suggesting what is being implied
  - How to accept challenging characters/aspects
  - Congruence - being self aware of how you are when you sit with the client - contain, safe, info to be used
  - Choice - focus, contrast past/future opposing processing,
  - Questions - avoid why, instead use open who/how/when/where
  - Support and challenge - requires trust, meet and then use empathy to open challenge tentatively
Send form to allan@temno.org

Interpersonal Process Recall

Reminds me of heuristics
Not adding, recollecting what was happening at the time

Exercise Session experience as an observer

I felt joan had opened up her body language
Participated effectively in a safe listening position with a client that was in her own thoughts
No reflecting and paraphrasing
Summaries included imposing opinions, advice, feels like maybe a position of knowing
Bad timekeeping
Joan
- Instinctive calm, relax, not think too much
- Feeling - focus on relationship, self-critic, exposed, split with empathy
- Fantasies - wanted to explore m/b/t, bring in literature,
- Outer world - let down, frustrated, proud to try anyway
Me
- Feel - critical, board, impatient
- Fantasies - pulling the client out of her narrative

Golden nuggets

often what you are seeing is what is happening to you - How does that apply to me
Great to frame, but available to let go - balance
Buddhist quote
- Pain times resistance = suffering
- Pain times acceptance = freedom

Feedback session

Celebrate
Growth points
How you have travelled in the past year
What are you edges

Others feedback of Me

Competent skills
Open body, face
Engaged - occasionally, possessing, attention wandering, loss of confidence in client
Not shy to interrupt
Pulled threads together, focused client to the core
Reticent in involvement - embrace the discomfort, affect others, notice of resistance
Relaxed, friendly, thinking,
Could be more tentative with questions
Obvious journey, tring to fix, changed to understand, personally and relationship
Good balance, less thinking, more accepting
Good reflecting as use for focusing
Presenting reminding choice
Great at challenging
Developed tentativeness, instinctive
Empathetic ‘OH’, use of humour, humanity
Genuine
Let go of the brain, be in touch with the body
Directly focused
Hold the space
Good at expanding
Sometimes seeing the gears in my head
Logic and uncertainty
Have been interrogative
Bringing thread together meaningfully

contact_Sophie@sophieharrisontherapy.com

Personal Feedback 1

Which ideas have you found the most helpful, meaningful or challenging? Which exercises?: All the exercises seemed in a similar context so I will talk holistically. I Loved that we were forced to limit our communication. It shone a light on our ability to listen, which appeared terrible, but also how clumsy we can be without integrating many strategies of communication.
What has been the high point or major learning of this course for you?: I very clearly thought I was a better listener than I am. I loved the scientific element to it, slowly bringing in abilities to watch how my relation with the client changed.
What has been the quality of the conceptual content? Its organisation? Continuity? Presentation? Clarity?: It was great. Some humour, some group experience of lowering the bar down to beginner level and opening up to having some fun.
Has there been anything missing from the course or anything you would have liked more of given the time limits? Was there anything which did not work for you or which could have worked more effectively if changed?: No, I thought it was a great introduction to the course material.
What comments do you have about the course trainer(s) and assistants? How was your relationship with the trainer(s)?: The trainer was great and the helpers stepped in at the right times.

Personal Feedback 2

Which ideas have you found the most helpful, meaningful or challenging? Which exercises?: Covering Empathy was very meaningful. I just wish we did more of this as it seems fundamental to the course. However, by far the most meaningful was participatory experience of being in the Gilmore groups. The smaller groups allowed the participation level I feel like I excel in. The trainer can and did speak to our individual requirements and the attention needed was constant. The Gilmore trainer spoke very sharply to what was needed. I was pulled out, quite strongly, for not listening well enough and not following the requirements which was perfectly humbling and I really appreciated how the trainer executed my telling off!
What has been the high point or major learning of this course for you?: My goodness, during the exercise of giving an acceptance response and non-acceptance response, I discovered I was not seeing how to respond correctly. I soon worked out a method that appeared to work and stuck with it. I also announced this to the breakout group and the tutor and was not corrected. Later on, when given the definition of acceptance I realised that I could not have been more wrong. It was also very humbling! I had no hesitation in announcing my error as I didn’t want to have misled anyone.
What has been the quality of the conceptual content? Its organisation? Continuity? Presentation? Clarity?: To be honest, I found the content and presentation in the first half of the day confusing. However, I am totally willing to give it some slack as I am fully aware that this is an area I need to work hardest on and therefore was struggling to keep up with the pace.
Has there been anything missing from the course or anything you would have liked more of given the time limits? Was there anything which did not work for you or which could have worked more effectively if changed?: The Empathy exercise was too short! We didn’t have enough time to validate our opinions with each other, so I feel like the real value of that exercise was lost. Also I would have loved more time exploring the aspects of empathy. There seem to be many mis-conceptions around the subject, so it still feels quite hazy, with fine lines between empathy and other responses such as reassurance, of which I see as a bad response but wasn’t conveyed appropriately.
What comments do you have about the course trainer(s) and assistants? How was your relationship with the trainer(s)?: I really appreciated our gilmore trainer. She worked really hard to maximise our time with her and also make it entertaining and fun. I recognised her praise and constructive criticism.

Personal Feedback 3

Which ideas have you found the most helpful, meaningful or challenging? Which exercises?: Finding out the agenda of therapy as “not goal orientated” was a pivotal insight and appreciation for what I had been getting wrong all this time. Along with my humbling experiences the previous day I could finally see the benefits of not trying to fix someone. Agapic love! Setting the scene for the others transcendence through their own perceptivel and participatory knowledge being the sustainable path. This has brought forward some burning need for further reflection as to if I belong in this domain.
What has been the high point or major learning of this course for you?: I loved, in the Gilmore group, having to confront the feeling of utter stupidity and uselessness having got the whole concept of therapy wrong along with the pressure to do well for the other people in my group. I brute forced myself not to worry about it as there was too much to contemplate and too little time. So I felt flow in the moment. Overall I believe I did really well and had good compliments, so I was left feeling proud of my ability to be with the client.
What has been the quality of the conceptual content? Its organisation? Continuity? Presentation? Clarity?: I was confused by congruence and didn’t feel brave enough at the time to seek further assistance with it. I was feeling pretty unconfident with my ability to connect with the content anyway, so decided not to worry and to read up about it all in my spare time.
Has there been anything missing from the course or anything you would have liked more of given the time limits? Was there anything which did not work for you or which could have worked more effectively if changed?: It was such a pivotal day for me with so much self-reflection going on, I don’t know if I can answer this question.
What comments do you have about the course trainer(s) and assistants? How was your relationship with the trainer(s)?: Again, I loved our Gilmore trainer. She drilled in what was important. She also stepped out the way too!

Personal Feedback 4

Which ideas have you found the most helpful, meaningful or challenging? Which exercises?: I mostly enjoyed covering the content on helpful and unhelpful questions. I get the sense that I am often too blunt or not tactful, so it was great to get an insight into a perspective that is not mine. The point of being interested was highlighted effectively and brings me home to focus on my level of care which seems to be a theme at the moment. I will be paying more attention to this area in my development and within the question of whether therapy as a career is to be my future orientation.
What has been the high point or major learning of this course for you?: Pulling it together in the gilmore class. Despite not feeling very present, I managed to fall into the flow. I feel like the added tools allowed me to be more active and engaging with the client, framings, accenting and softening the flow of the conversation. I placed some challenging questions that the client appreciated and led the conversation wider and more meaningful. In general I felt both on top of the situation and natural, meaning that it was both efficient and resilient. I was very pleased.
What has been the quality of the conceptual content? Its organisation? Continuity? Presentation? Clarity?: It seemed like we were already peering into future development and the way the content was presented seemed to reflect that, I felt that the content wasn’t emphasised with current importance, but instead brushed over with the idea that this will be in the background for a long time. The challenging process and pointing beyond the identity was considered as an advanced topic, of which I can see as a more nuanced tool that requires skill, however, I connect with this tool more than some of the previous topics on empathy.
Has there been anything missing from the course or anything you would have liked more of given the time limits? Was there anything which did not work for you or which could have worked more effectively if changed?: A few more examples of the content in action would have been nice as I still found some of the concepts a little muddy and feel unconfident in having a handle on them in practise.
What comments do you have about the course trainer(s) and assistants? How was your relationship with the trainer(s)?: I love our Gilmore group trainer, she is fully responsive, engaging, funny and seems to have plenty to share through every stage of our development.

Personal Feedback 5

Which ideas have you found the most helpful, meaningful or challenging? Which exercises?: Great summary of what was learnt so far. Great in-depth, open and honest discussion in the gilmore group on Interpersonal process recall. It was a great warm-up to the weekend ahead with regards to focus on the personal relating.
What has been the high point or major learning of this course for you?: I loved the celebration of what we had achieved in the year. So valuable in consolidating and affirming what we have learnt. It is also something I normally don’t do, so feel privileged to have it as part of the session instead of outside.
What has been the quality of the conceptual content? Its organisation? Continuity? Presentation? Clarity?: Fine. The flexibility in the gilmore group to pause and go deeper instead of maintaining the plan was greatly appreciated and provided great insight.
Has there been anything missing from the course or anything you would have liked more of given the time limits? Was there anything which did not work for you or which could have worked more effectively if changed?: I think it was all great.
What comments do you have about the course trainer(s) and assistants? How was your relationship with the trainer(s)?: I really appreciated our Gilmore trainer Sophie. Energetic, entertaining, present, intelligent, humble, wise. I felt very held and energised in her presence.