Overall comments

STRENGTHS AND ABILITIES – Describe where you have demonstrated particular strength and ability in relation to Engagement, Proficiency and Maturity, with reference to relational dynamics, counselling skills, written assessments and study tutorials.

I have been very keen to make the most of the course, not with an aim to achieve a high mark, but instead with the aim to maximise my personal cultivation of wisdom and capabilities in this field and life in general.
Relational dynamics was an area I didn’t understand at first and I found that I made too many strong assumptions which created confusion in the group. However, I demonstrated a mature and open willingness to explore the dissonance which I felt provided valuable gifts to the group including a deeper exposure and bond. Because of this dynamic I felt freer to explore more challenging aspects of our individual capacities and orientation and in turn our attunement and clarity of the group characteristics.
Counselling skills was also an area of challenge with regards to my weaker participation of empathy and love. However, I felt I put in the work to overcome these challenges with focus on being present with the client or session as an observer, which resulted in encouraging positive feedback from the tutor and other students. I recognised that my capacity for challenge and will was much stronger than my capacity for love and affirmation. This was evident when my fluidity of empathy was noticeably more natural when areas of challenge were made available in our dialogues.
The written assessments have been a great place for reflection and a very welcomed part of my personal development on the course. I felt capable of capturing the salient and relevant processes that emerged.
The study tutorials were engaging and I felt I contributed with concise and relevant questions and statements.

AREAS FOR IMPROVEMENT – Describe where development is required in relation to Engagement, Proficiency and Maturity, with reference to relational dynamics, counselling skills, written assessments and study tutorials.

In relational dynamics I noticed a lesser level of care for others which played a significant role in the confusion and challenges that occurred. I have identified that my past experiences have imprinted controversial behaviours, such as directness, that resulted in resistance and frustration. I found that to overcome this I need to make special effort to slow down and find agapic love for what is without letting my achiever subpersonality dominate the situation, as well as reflecting on what my inner sage or higher Self might realise, leading away from a personal rational reaction and towards an inclusive and considered response.
The lessons of improvement in relational dynamic also strongly apply to my counselling skills. On top of this, I find my concentration wanders into analytical thinking too easily, disconnecting me from the present. Therefore, I believe I would benefit from further emphasis and connection with my body and feeling responses, providing a less laboursome presence and empathy with the client.
My written assessments could do with more practice. Writing articulately has proved a struggle, but I recognise the improvements over time.
I believe I have noticed less engagement with study tutorials as the course progressed. I believe this is to be an attunement with the group and not something I would naturally wish for. Maybe this would be different with a different group, or maybe I need to pay more attention to achieving a more optimised and beneficial engagement that satisfies my needs.

Learning Outcomes

1(a) Use ‘I’ statements when sharing your thoughts, feelings and experience

I recognise that I was making assertions early on in the course. However, I believe to have made a conscious effort to own my statement and be mindful of any projected opinions. I have also recognised how this has made a positive impact on my life in general outside the course.

1(b) Recognise and describe old patterns that influence your behaviour now

I have made many insights over the course of the year, especially with regards to studying subpersonalities, crisis and body responses. The process of journaling has also made significant awareness of my body’s influence on how I respond to challenging experiences. Also, another significant insight is how my reliance on analytical thinking dominates the cultivation of trust in the transpersonal dimension and will.

1(c) Reflect on and describe your present experience

I have noticed a change in urgency. By cultivating a safe space that encourages what is, good or bad, I have created space for less developed aspects of my character, such as connection with my body and feelings, as well as an affordance to not jump in and manipulate the situation. This in turn has opened the door to experience how things are and not impose my expectations.

1(h) Listen with openness and discuss ideas without attacking, withdrawing or acting out in other ways

I have always been an open book and would do my best to provide this space for others in return. However, as stated before, I have cultivated an affordance to allow dissonance to resolve themselves without defaulting to a manipulating position. This has given me the opportunity to listen for longer and respond more tentatively. I also believe many of the models we have learnt have increased my overall empathy for others and trust in the process.

1(j) Demonstrate empathic understanding and curiosity about yourself and others, the relationship between you and the unconscious process underpinning this

I came with an urgent need to understand myself. However, over the course of the year, I have cultivated a good understanding of how connection with reality is significantly dependent on the transjective, co-creating relationship with what lies outside of my personality. My curiosity has therefore been swung towards the cultivation of trust for unconscious processes and transpersonal will. This has had quite a profound effect on my life with greater clarity to internal conflict, and developing stronger external bonds.

1(l) Express your own views, whilst reflecting on your impact on others

I have noticed less time spent describing situations to others. Journaling has played a significant role in this journey, shifting my thoughts out of my head and affording the reduction of views towards more salient views. Instead of reacting, I have established a habit of an inner-dialogue, questioning how my higher-Self might approach these views. This has increased my ability to hold things lightly. I believe that this process has offered considered and beneficial responses.

1(o) Name and appreciate your strengths, and those of others

I have been continually tinkering with my perception of character and gaining confidence in the gifts and challenges I bring. However, my journey towards awareness of others and their contribution to the transjective relationship is an affordance I am developing. I am confident in the importance of the work in my quest to touch reality.

1(s) Identify ways in which we are all vulnerable to prejudice and use ongoing self-inquiry to explore and minimise this

I have an ongoing battle of my perception of framing. I have experienced that to fortify an identity offers gifts, meaning and purpose to aspects of life but also vulnerability to self-deception and exclusion and has led to existential crisis. Simultaneously, to dis-identify has offered the opportunity to discover a grounding in being, but left me flapping in the wind which also led to crisis. Therefore I have gained an understanding of the importance of prejudice, but also an appreciation of its limiting impact.

4(a) Take personal responsibility for your learning journey: attendance, personal organisation, deadlines, seeking support, and all other course requirements

I have always held myself responsible for all my actions and have lots of strong, skilful and good will towards being beneficial to myself and others.

4(b) Assess learning needs, strengths, and achievements, taking into account feedback provided by the training team

I maintain a keen attitude towards improving my relationship with myself, my cultivation of wisdom, my openness to the unknown, and cultivating beneficial qualities and orientation to the greater good.

4(c) Identify personal/professional development priorities and take action to meet these

I have identified that I have a strength in many areas of the course, but also recognise the characters and motivation in other students that has brought the question of whether I am the correct key in this career path. I have also identified the need to cultivate my love before I would do justice within this career path. Therefore, I have decided to give more time towards the visceral experience of nature with its infinity to balance out the overriding inferential processing I developed in my previous chapters. To give space to this, I have decided to pause the progression into the next year of the course, allowing a breathing space for the new insights to meet my experience of life, and also to allow a recognition of a calling before continuing.

4(d) Demonstrate the capacity to undertake training and independent study in terms of time and finance

I have always maintained an organised approach to my time and keen motivation to maximise my experience on the course.